Random Thoughts

So I just watched a Lonely Planet tour guide video on Japan, Tokyo to Taiwan and found it all to be rather depressing. The video, judging by the clothing, was shot in the late 80's to early 90's and horribly portrays Japan. I think it perhaps did a middling job with mainland but a down right piss poor job about Okinawa.

First and foremost, I understand Okinawa has 50,000 US military members on it, this is worth noting.It -has- changed the Okinawan people. They speak English, western foods can be found and the influenced for foreigners can be clearly seen. However there is no need to highlight stores that sell military only items.

No mention of the Okinawan sweet potato stores, Okinawan soba, Shisa etc. Just clear revulsion that stores would sell shell casings, flight suits and other military crap. One in four Okinawan's died in WWII and the Japanese obsession with American culture was barely mentioned. I think it is only logical that a few of these stores still exist. Military stores are not on every corner, they are barely worth noting as something I have seen and experienced after living here for 3 years. They are not worth mentioning at all in 15 spot on Okinawa.

So moving on past the military.

Oh wait no, he goes to the Japanese Naval Underground headquarters. Nothing special to say about it, but we had to mention that it's the location of one of the biggest mass suicides. I think the western world is obsessed with Japanese suicide, at least old fashioned suicide.

Then we are off to Peace Prayer Park (again with out mentioning it). No mention of the park itself, the beautiful monuments, the wall of names (similar to the Vietnam memorial) or anything. What do we talk about? Suicide cliffs and how many Okinawan civilians killed themselves there. Seriously westerners just don't get it.

Now we are done with the military... but onto animal cruelty.

Next up the guy clearly went to Okinawa world though he doesn't say so (I recognized the stage there). No mention of Goyokusendo cave, which is pretty cool to see, no mention of the local beer brewed there (which is darned good), no mention of habu sake, no mention of shisa, dances, Esia, crafts, bingata. No he skips straight to the habu versus mongoos show. I understand that back then, they still fought the Habu and Mongoos instead of what they have now (a race in the water) but that's not the only thing there!

They use this as a segway into Okinawan bull fighting.

I have seen a bullfight here on Okinawa and they are pretty cool to see. I was hesitant at first, I thought it was like Spanish style bull fights but its just bull versus bull. It is harmless, the bulls never really get hurt, they are just competing for a mate. They butt heads and push each other and then one tucks tail and runs. But he watches it for 5 minutes, a bull looses a horn (very rare) and he feels they are abused. They eat better than their owners.

Dog fighting, now that is bad. Cock fighting, also bad. I can go on. In those cases the animals fight to kill or hurt as much as possible. Okinawan bull fighting is like watching two animals fight for a mate, like elephants charging each other. Do you know that they get massages while they fight? Sure it's different, but I honestly don't see much wrong with it. Once the bull runs, the fight is over and they will do anything to protect the running bull (though generally they don't have to).

They close out the bit on Okinawa with a short skit on ancient Okinawan music sung in a modern way. That's it. Modern music. So Okinawa has military, military stores, animal cruelty and music. After watching this whole show I was left with little desire to see Japan and no desire to see Okinawa. It is as if they left out all the good stuff about the island.

I understand mainland Japan has always viewed Okinawa a rural and a bit old fashioned, nothing to interesting. But it has a lot to offer. They didn't even mention the -world renowned- diving. The miles of beaches, it is an island of beaches fit for a king. I understand Shuri castle might not have been restored back then but Okinawa has so much to offer.

That is the worst travel program I have ever seen. As some one who has lived here for 3 years, it's just insulting. I wish the outside world could see Okinawa the way that I do... okay not quite the burning inferno that I see it as but the rest of it.

Labels: Okinawa

Okay, I need to get back into the habit of blogging. I must confess the events of the beginning of the month have thrown off my blogging. I was determined to keep updating like I like to do but alas it just wasn't meant to be. But now it is time to turn over a new leaf.

It turns out cake class was canceled. The Arts and Crafts Center is retarded, they are just special to the max. Turns out something happened with the teacher and the supplies and well just about everything with the class. So needless to say they decided to cancel the class. The lady claimed to have called us, however with 3 sets of phone numbers none of us got the phone call. Fortunately we went to the craft center to buy supplies for the class when they spotted us and told us that it was canceled. At least it was the day before?

Yoga class is awesome. It's a good work out for all those weird places you didn't know you needed to work out and some of those places you did. I have discovered that my core is good, though my lower back is not. I also found that my hips and thighs are crap. I can handle crazy upper body stuff but as soon as you ask me to do a small leg lift or something, ouch. My legs start to buckle and my hips go out of socket. Hopefully I can work on that.

Jason should be flying soon and that means he is coming home soon, okay well not soon but sooner. Each flight he has means he is one flight closer to home, and that is a god thing.

Alex's elbow seems to finally be healing now that I am putting bacitracin on it everyday and keeping a band aid on it. Alex does not appreciate the band aids, as they are human band aids and manage to pull off a good bit of fur. She tolerates it fairly well and lets me do it, but I still feel bad. But it finally seems to be healing. I don't think she was licking at it so much as laying down outside on it on concrete when she suns herself was not good for her.

I finished Battlestar Galactica and found the show excellent but the end was only just okay. I also started watching Simpson's season 20 and they changed the intro! It seems when TV in the US went digital or high def or what ever it was they were supposed to be doing they changed the intro. They also seem to have gone more digital and less drawn.

Cat is cat and fish are fish.

My new laptop wont be here until after I leave for the US as it stands right now. I really wish they had not screwed up my order! It would really really be handy right about now. I am normally pretty good about waiting for the things that I want when I order online but dang it I want the laptop now! Stupid Dell.

Okay, I am sure I had more to update on but... it is escaping me now. That is why I am supposed to blog -when- it happens not later on. So enough for now. Simpson's, reading and then bed.

Labels: Alex, Cake Decorating, Mao, Yoga

Life has to return to normal at some point. I can't just stay curled up on the couch avoiding outside and life in general. I am not spiraling into a void of depression, just grieving. I just needed sometime to myself to have a good cry. I don't really want or need sympathy but I am not ashamed to admit its been difficult being so far away, and I hate to say it, alone. I am not an island but I live on one far far away.

But I am recovering. I imagine that everyone at home is doing the same.

My grandfather was a good man. I got to know him, I think the best, on our cross country road trip together. I had to get the Miata from California to Florida and didn't really want to do it alone. In steps my grandfather, he flew all the way to California to drive with me for three days back to FL. At times there was no radio, no CD player and in some places nothing to even look at for hundreds of miles.

There was nothing to do but drive and talk. I think I learned a lot about my grandfather on that trip, perhaps even a lot about the world. He was an amazing person. He had seen and done so much and always managed to do it with a smile on his face. Raising his children, working multiple jobs, suffering set backs, he had seen and done things and always with pride. Often when we become wise we become more somber, I think with Pepe when he became wise, he became even more child-like and happy. He enjoyed the good things in life while accepting the bad and moving on.

Even before he was sick, Pepe always had the motto to live each day to its fullest. Cancer didn't seem to phase him, it perhaps broke his stride but only for a moment and then he kept on going. Just like any other set back in his life, it made him pause, but only for a moment and then he started back up with his head held high and a smile on his face.

It was that eternal optimism and drive and work ethic that inspired us all. I not only learned about my grandfather on that trip but also about myself. I don't think you could remain in my grandfathers presence and not be filled with light and inspired to be everything you could be. He never had to tell you to be good, you just wanted to be. Not to impress him, not because you were afraid of him, but simply because it felt right. He lead by example and you never even noticed.

Pepe was always quick with a joke or a laugh. I think I will always remember him sitting in his chair, a can of soda or a bowl of ice cream in his lap laughing that loud honest laugh about some terrible joke he had just made. He was always so vibrant, even at the worst of times.

People always like to say dramatic things, like the world will be a lesser place without someone.

I don't think that the world is a lesser place now that Pepe is gone. I think he touched hundreds of people in his life time and the world will always be a brighter place because he was here. While his brilliant light may have faded away the rest of us are still here, hundreds of tiny lights lit from his flame. Burning brighter because we had the opportunity to be near him and take some of his light.

Today the rain lifted, the clouds burned away under the sun, the birds came out to sing and the day was bright and beautiful. It is as if my grandfather was telling me it's time to say goodbye and to pick up the light and move forward. Sure, take a moment to pause at this set back, but then pick your head up, put a smile on your face and keep morning forward.

I don't think about it very often but there is a cost to living so far from home. I have missed weddings and births and funerals. Hugely important moments in my friends and families lives and I have missed them. I am not saying that I would do anything differently, my life is full and I am happy, but there is a cost.

Yesterday I received word that my grandfather is dying. Well, I already knew that he was dying of bone cancer, but things have spread. It has been three years since I have seen my grandfather and I regret that. I wrote letters, I called and I sent flowers and gifts but it's not the same as spending time with someone.

It is not piratical for me to go home right now and I hate that I have to think about practicalities. So last night I had my own private goodbye with my own private tears half way around the world from everyone else. I reflected on the good times I had with him, the cross country road trip where we bonded as a young woman and a grandfather and all the holidays and visits.

I want to be there for my family but it's hard to hug some one over the phone.
It's all hard.
For now I just need to reflect on the good times.
Because I just got a phone call from half way around the world that says that he died.

I sit here ravenously hungry still, slowly burning more and more and sore in places I didn't even remember I had (Yoga the day before might not have been the best idea) but quite satisfied.

There is a great sense of happiness for me that comes from diving, even in mediocre conditions in unremarkable drive sites. Scuba diving relaxes you, excites you, puts you in control and just a little out of control. For me, after almost every dive, I am left feeling satisfied with myself deep down to my core.

Today started at 8:00am with a call from Chelsea. Dive conditions looked good and so we set out to meet at Tori. Too bad no one told Tori Scuba locker that they should open up an hour early for us. So we waited an hour for them to open and then we were on our way up to Maeda Point for a day of diving.

Maeda was crowded but not jam packed. Visibility was only 20-30 feet but the water is warm and it's skin diving season. The fish seemed to cooperate today too. The most climactic thing was 2 different sea slugs being spotted and 4 octopus, two of which were mating. It was pretty cool to see the octopus, one of them was the second biggest I had ever seen.

Chelsea's husband had some trouble with his sinuses so I will admit the dive had a few hiccups but over all it was pretty uneventful. We explored the classrooms and the outer reef and then the wall on the second dive. I have a few new fish I need to ID once I look through my pictures too. I always get excited when I ID a new fish, it sounds lame but like Pokemon I want to collect them all.

But for now its time to cool my sun burn, fill out my dive logs and then fall pleasantly into bed.

Labels: Scuba

I am sweaty from Yoga again, but its a good sweaty. I can also feel my yoga class in all sorts of little places. Muscles I don't use very often feel it the most. But I like the class, it challenges me in all sorts of new ways. It's also pretty relaxing, you focus mostly doing the poses and everything else sort of slides away. That is as long as I don't fall over in the more challenging poses!

We are moving into a four day weekend that will hopefully be fun though I have no definitive plans. If nothing else not having to work it a good thing. I started the day with a smile on my face and then found us as usual balls to the wall. It seems like no matter how fast I go I can't see patients fast enough to catch up. There is always a chart in the box, there is always another patient to see, even if I short changed the last one.

I herd an interesting thing on NPR this morning that rang true for me about my work and this is how I need to think of it. There were medical professional talking about how medicine has changed, how things have moved from a Nordstoms to a Walmart with health care. You see as many patients as possible for the lowest price possible.

I guess when I started we were aiming for Nordstoms, we were aiming for high quality and bugger the cost. We are the military and we don't need to make a profit because we can't actually keep any of it. But now we are most definitely a Walmart. We are supposed to see as many patients as possible, squeeze in every last one so we can try to cut a small profit. That small profit is supposed to be passed onto us in the form of cash rewards and other sundry things.

I guess I just always worked for places that wanted to be Nordstroms and my loathing of Walmart, its policies and its practices has turned me away from bargain basement places. I guess I always valued the quality of things more than the cost. I'll gladly pay twice the price for something that will last longer or work better than something else.

I even tried to tell myself today that every person was getting quality but when the charts stack up in the box. Then I found we were at least 30 minutes behind on health certificates and even more behind on vaccines. I loath being behind, its like a personal failure. Some part of me knows that its not my fault, not every person takes 15 minutes, scheduling mistakes happen but when I can't see people when I am supposed to, its a personal failure.

I need to work on finding a compromise. I mean I can leave it all at the door when I go home at 12:00 but I find myself very stressed and unhappy when things go poorly while I am at work. I would just like to find more satisfaction while I am actually at work. I enjoy what I do, I just don't enjoy the way I have to do it and I need to find that line and walk it.

Other than work and Yoga its been a fairly boring day. I did managed to pick up some strange fruit from the Farmers Market but I have no idea what it is. I cut it in half and tried to eat one, but its a very juicy fruit that somehow takes all of the saliva from your mouth. It tastes like nothing at all. But for the bushel of it that I got, it was only 100Y so no real loss.

But with that its almost time to hit up the shower. The water is warming up now as we speak.

Labels: Fruit, Job, Yoga

I think life has been sort of wavy as of late. When things are good, they are really good. When things are bad, they are bad. I don't have too many days that sort of flatline in the middle. It's not really a bad thing all the time but it does make things sort of up and down.

I guess this TDY has been a little harder than some of the others, which is a bit ironic. When Jason is actually in the Middle East I find it easier to deal with him not being here. I guess it seems like there is more justification for being separated. But this whole TDY I have been dragging my feet about the whole thing. Since this is the third time he has left in rapid succession I am getting a bit girly about the whole thing.

I just sort of flat out miss him. I miss him sleeping next to me. I miss him even watching TV with me. It's a different sort of missing him than normal. Normally I miss him and I sort of keep going about my business and not much changes in my life. This time, I just miss him. It's a hard thing to explain to someone who hasn't done something similar.

But Jason being gone aside, things are going well. My laptop order seems to have been canceled by Dell, which was a low point for me and I am sure a point of frustration for Jason. It was a big screw up at Dell and they decided not to email Jason and tell him they canceled the order. So hopefully Jason has some luck fixing it all and getting me a laptop again.

Today was team building, meaning mando fun at the bowling alley on Foster. I actually made awesome time driving there, unfortunately this meant I was almost 30 minutes early. I still wish we had had the event on Kadena but that's neither here nor there. The mando fun actually turned out to be not too bad honestly. We bowled a few games and had a good time, ate pizza that was paid for by the man along with some cake and ice cream.

After that it was off to customer service training. Unfortunately I managed to forget my shoes so it was off to the BX to get some new ones. I needed new shoes any way so that wasn't really much of a sacrifice honestly. So I got a new pair of sneakers and a new pair of slip on sneakers to try out at work. They are awesomely comfortable but I wonder about this slip on/off aspect. We shall see how they workout.

The customer service training wasn't too bad honestly. I mean it was gay customer service training but because it was all Vet Clinic folk so it wasn't too bad. I must confess these sorts of classes inspire me to do my best at work, to step it up a notch but the I get back to work and we are balls to the wall and I don't really have time to step it up a notch.

I just have time to do my job the best I can and then move onto the next client. Sometimes it's almost like triage trying to decide who gets a room, who doesn't, who needs more client education than someone else because I don't always have equal time for everyone. I wish I had more time like in a private clinic, time with each patient to do everything I needed. Time to give them that little something extra and not just what I can. But you do what you can and don't do what you can't. I'll try to be more positive, at least for a while.

Yoga is working well. They changed the time to 4:30 instead of 5 which is a bit annoying, but it is something I can deal with since I don't teach any more. The class is great for my hips which seem to need more work than I thought. I don't know what I will ever be doing head stands, but things are going well. I think I am the only person who sweats like a pig in that class but then it doesn't take much to make me sweat.

I have been watching Battlestar Galactica like there is no tomorrow since I finished watching Big Bang Theory in like 4 days. Both are great shows honestly and if you have not seen them, you should. With my evenings free I have had more time to watch TV and I almost always watch TV when I clean so, it gets watched. Since we download all of our TV, I get to watch all my shows in rapid fire succession.

But that's enough updating for now. I think its time for some deep stretching and TV.

Labels: Jason, Job, TV, Yoga